Are You In Maintenance Mode or Decision Mode?

Are You In Maintenance Mode or Decision Mode? – Dr. Robert Rohm ~ / ~

Sometimes life can be confusing. We try to make sense out of everything that is taking place in our life all at once. Unfortunately, that is just not the way things work. It would be wonderful if life were a nice, neat package that operated according to schedule every day, but sometimes life can be messy. There are unexpected events that take place, circumstances that change and unplanned interruptions that come into our lives on a daily basis.

In times of confusion, I have discovered that it is very helpful to answer this question, “Am I in a maintenance mode or am I in a decision mode?” Let me explain please.

When I am in a maintenance mode, I realize that it is a time to simply gather facts, data and information. I get a piece of paper and write down everything that I need to know concerning a particular issue or situation that will help me. For example, dealing with a major home repair issues is vastly different than dealing with a major automotive issue. They may feel similar but in reality, they are two different decisions. I mentally relieve myself of the pressure of having to make a quick decision. I remind myself that, for the moment, it is not yet about making a decision but rather about gathering facts. I am in a maintenance mode. I am not trying to move ahead. I am simply trying to maintain where I am at this moment in life.

Maintenance mode is a very good place to be. The pressure of trying to “hurry up” and get things accomplished simply goes away for the moment. Maintenance mode becomes a very good time of gathering information and finding all the necessary facts to help make the best choice and the wisest decision.

Decision mode, however, is very different. When it comes time to make a decision, you can make the wisest decision possible based on everything you found when you were in maintenance mode. It will then be time to put all the information into a plan of action.

I learned from my good friend, Charlie Jones, that there are three parts to the decision-making process: 1) make a decision, 2) make it yours, and 3) die by it.

Let’s look at each of those components separately.

1) Make a decision. This goes back to discovering all you possibly can while you are in the maintenance mode. Gather all of the facts, data, information, and insight you possibly can to help you make the wisest and best decision possible.

2) Make it yours. Whether things work out the way you want them to or do not work out at all, at least it will have been your decision. It will be one that you have embraced, and you will not be able to point a finger at another person and say, “This was your fault.” It will be your decision and yours alone.

3) Die by it. Do not be upset if things do not go the way you had planned. If things go well, then you will be rewarded. If things do not go well, then you may suffer the consequences of your decision. In either case, own it! You may learn a great lesson for future use.

Remember, it will be your decision that you make, and you will take with you – good, bad or indifferent for the rest of your life.

When I heard Charlie break that apart, I realized that there was much more to the decision-making process than simply “making a decision.” I have found this to be very valuable information.

I imagine that there are many things on all our “to-do” lists that still have not been accomplished. It might be worth your time to get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Title the left side “Maintenance Mode” and title the right side “Decision Mode.” Look at where you are in your life and write down appropriate measures to help you accomplish the things on both sides of the ledger. I have found that this is a powerful tool that will help you in all that you do.

One last thought. I constantly coach people who are trying to decide what to do with their life. I walk them through this methodology, and it usually brings clarity to their situation. I trust it will to your situation as well.

Tip: Are you in maintenance mode or decision mode?

Have a great week! God bless you! Dr. Robert A. Rohm

Honesty Is The Best Policy

Honesty Is The Best Policy – Harvey Mackay ~ / ~

Once upon a time on the outskirts of a big city stood an old temple where young boys would come to live and learn from an old monk.  One day the monk gathered his students and told them:  “I am growing old and slow.  I can no longer provide for the needs of the temple as I once did.  I want you to go into the city and follow the rich people.  When no one is looking – and only when no one is looking – you must steal their purses.  That way we will have enough money to keep our school alive.”

The boys said in disbelief:  “But master, you have taught us that it is wrong to steal.”

The monk replied:  “It would be wrong to steal if it were not absolutely necessary.  Just remember, you must not be seen!”

The boys looked nervously among themselves and quietly began to leave.  However, one student remained so the monk asked him, “Why did you not go with the others?”

“I heard master,” said the boy quietly.  “But you said that we had to steal without being seen.  I know that there is no place on Earth that I would not be seen, for I would always see myself.”

“Excellent!” exclaimed the monk.  “That is just the lesson I hoped my students would learn.  Run and tell your friends to return to the temple before they get us into trouble.”

Honesty is and will always be the best policy.  Telling the truth at all times matters in so many ways, from building your reputation to improving your relationships.  Your word has to be your bond.  

Maybe that is why Thomas Jefferson said, “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”

Or take a page from our first President, George Washington, who famously said he could not tell a lie when asked about the newly hewn cherry tree.  Honest Abe Lincoln was also a paragon of truthfulness.  As we celebrate Presidents’ Day, these are role models to uphold.

Honesty, ethics, integrity, values, morals are interchangeable because they all convey the single attribute that determines whether a person or an organization can be trusted.  If truth ever stands in your way, you are headed in the wrong direction.

Every time dishonesty wins, it gets harder to convince our children that honesty is the best policy.  Complete honesty in little things is not a little thing at all.

Sam Rayburn, former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, was once asked:  “Mr. Speaker, you see probably a hundred people a day.  You tell each one, ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ or ‘Maybe.’  You are never seen taking notes on what you told them, but I have never heard of you forgetting anything you promised.  What is your secret?”

Rayburn carefully eyed his questioner and replied, “If you tell the truth the first time, you don’t have to remember.”

I have always tried to follow Sam Rayburn’s advice because if you always tell the truth, you don’t need a good memory.

Think about your own dealings with businesses, organizations and even personal friends.  Do you patronize a store that makes promises they don’t keep or that sells products that don’t perform as expected?  Would you donate to a charity that invests more in promotion than in helping others?  Do you continue friendships with people who lie to you?

Of course not.  As the saying goes, fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me. 

Honesty is so important that there’s actually a day to celebrate it:  April 30, 2022, is Honesty Day.  Author M. Hirsh Goldberg, author of “The Book of Lies:  Fibs, Tales, Schemes, Scams, Fakes, and Frauds That Have Changed the Course of History and Affect Our Daily Lives,” created the day in the early 1990s.  He placed it strategically on the final day of April to contrast with April Fool’s Day (lies!) at the beginning of the month.

Here’s a fish story that can actually be believed.

After fishing all day and not getting so much as a nibble, the fisherman went back to shore, loaded his boat on the trailer and began the drive home.  Before reaching home, he stopped at a grocery store advertising fresh fish.

“Throw me a dozen of the biggest fish you have,” he said to the woman at the counter.

“Throw them?  Why?” she asked.

“Because I’m going to catch them.  I may be a lousy fisherman, but I’m not a liar.”

Mackay’s Moral:  Only those on the level can climb the highest peaks.

Use The 3 Keys To Business Success

Use The 3 Keys To Business Success! – by Dr. Robert Rohm ~ / ~

Many great business leaders have been interviewed over the years. They are all asked the same question, “What was the key to your success?” Many different answers are usually given, but they all boil down to basically 3 things: work hard, never quit, and love what you do.

I reflected on those three things and thought each one of them made a great deal of sense. Please allow me to expound on them briefly.

1) Work hard

When we work hard at anything, it has a better chance of succeeding. I am sure that you have heard the saying, “Work smarter, not harder.” However, working “smarter” often also involves working “harder”. I know very few successful people who did not put in many long, hard hours.

I think it was Abraham Lincoln who once said, “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” It has also been noted that “good luck” occurs when hard work crosses the path of opportunity!

2) Never quit

Never being willing to quit is of paramount importance. We have all faced times in our lives when we wanted to quit. Sometimes the situation or circumstances get so unbearable we just want to “throw in the towel”. It is human nature to grow weary in well-doing. I do not think there is anything wrong with wanting to quit. However, I do think there is something greatly wrong with actually quitting.

Someone once noted that the darkest hour is just before dawn. It is always too early to quit! If we just go a little further, dig a little deeper, try a little harder, and never give up, we are sure to come out stronger and better on the other side.

I can still hear Zig saying, “I’m not going to ease up, give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I am taken up!” He practiced that daily until he was…taken up!

Most of us are familiar with Winston Churchill’s famous speech that he gave years ago to a graduating class. He stood up and said, “Never, never, never, never, never, never quit.” Then he sat down. Although it was a very short speech, it has been remembered throughout the ages. He made his point by simply reminding us to – “Never quit!”

3) Love what you do

Enjoying what you do is really the icing on the cake. I do not think that most of us start off in a career we enjoy. It often takes some time, through trial and error, to discover what we really enjoy doing. When we do find the secret that “rings our bell” and brings us great enjoyment, I believe we should pursue it with all our heart and strength. After all, if you love what you do and do what you love, everyday feels like a vacation!

It literally breaks my heart when I consider how many people go to work every day to a job they do not like, next to people they cannot get along with, in order to receive a paycheck. Life is too short to waste it by doing something that illogical!

If you find yourself in that position, I would not suggest that you immediately quit your job and launch out into an “unknown” situation without first taking the time to investigate other possibilities. However, when you do find something that you love, I would encourage you to pursue it with all your heart. Again, it is worth repeating, if you love what you do and you do what you love, every day feels like a vacation. That is a powerful position in which to experience life.

I am pretty sure that all this wisdom did not originate with one person. I believe wisdom like this is something all of us can find if we are looking for it. When we want to see things we know are true in our heart, and search for them, we will find them. Then we can put them into practice. We will be rewarded greatly for our efforts.

This week, I encourage you to incorporate these three keys to success into your every day living. You will be the one rewarded for doing it.

Tip: Use the 3 Keys to Business Success!

Have a great week! God bless you! Dr. Robert A. Rohm

Respect Different Perspectives

Respect Different Perspectives – Harvey Mackay ~ / ~

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one-question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.  The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board:  “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion.  Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.  One member of the class, however, was finished in less than a minute.

A week later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an “A” when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words:  “What chair?”

I’ll let you be the judge:  Was this a smart-alecky, clueless student who was toying with his professor, or was he seeing through the futility of the exercise with a brilliant answer? 

My assessment is that he understood the purpose of the professor’s challenge:  What you see is what you get, or is it?  Can you judge a book by its cover?  Can you believe your lying eyes?      

“It is the obvious which is so difficult to see most of the time,” wrote Isaac Asimov in “I, Robot.”  “People say ‘It’s as plain as the nose on your face.’  But how much of the nose on your face can you see, unless someone holds a mirror up to you?”

I have no doubt that the chair existed.  And I have no doubt that people can see things from a variety of perspectives.  When you are in business, you need to remember that every day.

What you think is obvious, clear and easy to understand may be none of the above to a customer or co-worker.  So many misunderstandings result from failing to see things through another’s eyes.  The only way to fix that is to understand that perceptions, no matter how seemingly flawed, are reality to those who hold them.  Your job is to work with those thoughts.

Yes, that’s a tall order.  But ask any successful person how they have worked around a diversity of opinions, and you will likely discover that person has learned how to listen and apply what they hear.

Author and therapist Shannon L. Alder said:  “Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, ‘What else could this mean?’”

Perspective dominates much of how we present ourselves and our products: Which attributes do we think will appeal to an audience?  How do we perceive our customers?  Will people see what we think they should see?  Are we thinking broadly enough?  Focus groups offer great perspectives on those questions and help shape the direction of ad campaigns and website design.  Asking for another opinion is almost always a good idea.  Pay attention, especially if you are trying to sell chairs, but your customers ask, “What chair?”     

One of my favorite explanations of perspective comes from English biologist and archaeologist Sir John Lubbock:  “What we do see depends mainly on what we look for …  In the same field the farmer will notice the crop, the geologists the fossils, botanists the flowers, artists the colouring, sportmen the cover for the game.  Though we may all look at the same things, it does not all follow that we should see them.”

How simple is that?  At our Mackay Mitchell Envelope Company, customers may see an advertising opportunity, an eye-popping color, a novel shape or an efficient way to send a bill.  They are all correct, of course, but we need to know what the customer is looking for and how best to convey their message.  We offer suggestions, present options, and listen to their specific needs so that we can satisfy their requests.  We still sell more #10 white window envelopes than any other, but only because that’s what our customers want.  

I have a “kitchen cabinet” of advisors whom I consult on every imaginable topic.  The only request I make of them is that they provide unfiltered honest advice.  I want to hear what I haven’t seen for myself.  Sometimes, I have to swallow my pride, but believe me, it’s kept me from losing my shirt.  And my chairs!

Mackay’s Moral:  Is the glass half-full or half-empty?  Or is it just the wrong size? 

There Is No Such Thing As Unconditional Love

There Is No Such Thing As Unconditional Love! – Robert Rohm ~ / ~

Most of us have heard someone say that we need to learn to love another person unconditionally. I have said that myself! The problem is it just isn’t true!

When you say you love someone unconditionally that means there are no strings attached and no matter what they do you just keep right on loving them. That thought is important; however, it does not accurately convey what love is all about. Maybe an illustration will help.

Many of us have another important person in our life. It may be a husband or wife, a parent, or a child. Maybe it’s just a close friend. Is that person perfect? Does that person ever “mess up” and hurt your feelings? Does that person ever bring you pain or sorrow or heartache into your life? I think you know the answer to all those questions.

The truth of the matter is rather than thinking we can love another person unconditionally; we should learn to love other people sacrificially. It will cost you to love another person. At times there will be pain and heartache involved in loving another person. At times there will be a misunderstanding or words spoken in haste that you will later regret. Yet, you will just keep on loving and we keep on trying to do your best to develop a relationship that is healthy and sustainable and growing in grace. That is because you are loving sacrificially. You even love your pet sacrificially when you take them for a walk and take the “poop paper” with you. If you loved them unconditionally, you would not care what they did. But by loving them sacrificially, you are willing to clean up after them and keep right on loving them! Sacrifice produces real love!

Ask a new mom if childbirth was a pleasant experience. She sacrificed a LOT to bring that life into the world. It was not “unconditional”. It was very conditional. It was not without a lot of pain and discomfort. Yet, she did it anyway and may end up doing it AGAIN!!! Sacrificial love has no limits!!!

When I started thinking about love in the terms of “sacrificial love” rather than “unconditional love” everything started making sense. I will love you, but it will cost me at times. You may love me, but I promise it will cost you times; patience, finances, forgiveness, misunderstandings, frustrations, and many other aspects found in every relationship. Yet, if we keep on loving each other it is because love requires sacrifice. Think about the fact that God loves us. He does not love us unconditionally. It cost Him the very life of His son for us to have a relationship with Him. That is the best example of sacrificial love I could ever imagine.

On Valentine’s Day let me remind you that today is the day of love! Today is a day of sacrifice! You do not love a perfect person because a perfect person does not exist. But you do love other people; you just do not love anyone unconditionally. There are certain things other people could do that would end your relationship once and for all. Everyone has their limits. However, if you love other people sacrificially you will keep on loving them! You will learn to forgive, and you will learn to realize we all cause heartache and pain to other people at different times, and you will keep right on loving them anyway. Sacrificial love is the best love of all

I trust you will all have a Happy Valentine’s Day. Know that I love you and care about you even if it cost me time, effort, energy, and money to keep on loving you. I am willing to do it because you are worth loving. I have learned that sacrificial love is the greatest love a human can express.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Tip: There is no such thing as unconditional love!

Have a great week! God bless you! Dr. Robert A. Rohm

Universal Traits Define Great Leaders

Universal Traits Define Great Leaders – Harvey Mackay ~ / ~

A young prince, deposed when an enemy overran his kingdom, fled to a neighboring realm where a friend ruled as king.  He hoped his friend would grant him a new kingdom.  Instead the king gave him 100 sheep.

Surprised and puzzled, the prince took his sheep out to a field.  Soon a pack of wolves attacked and killed all the sheep.

The prince told his friend what had happened, and the king ordered that the prince be given 50 sheep.  But again the wolves came, ravaging his flock.  He returned to the king, and this time was given 25 sheep. 

But now the prince thought to himself, “If I don’t take care of these sheep, I won’t get any more.”  So he built fences and hired guards.  In a short time his herd grew to 500 sheep.

When he told his friend, the king ordered that the prince be given a nearby territory to rule.

“Why now?” the prince asked.

The king replied: “When you first came to me, you took leadership for granted.  Today you understand that to lead wisely, you must take care of others.  This is what I wanted you to learn.”

Leadership is not about control.  It’s about taking care and concentrating on your people.  Get to know them as human beings that want respect from you. 

Effective leaders demonstrate three traits that are especially important: compassion, authenticity and consistency. 

Compassion is defined as “a sense of shared suffering, most often combined with a desire to alleviate the suffering of another and to show special kindness to them.”  The Golden Rule is clearly based on the concept of compassion.   

When you show your people that they are more than drones who show up to get the job done, they will see you as more than just the paycheck dispenser.  Let them know you understand they have lives beyond their working hours, and that you value their contribution to the success of the operation.

Leaders must learn to sacrifice for others.  Take the example of the famous general Alexander the Great, who led his army across a desert.  After 11 days out, he and all the soldiers were near death from thirst.  A soldier came up to him and offered him a cup of precious water. 

Alexander asked, “Is there enough there for 10,000 men?”

When the soldier shook his head no, Alexander poured the water out on the desert sands, refusing to take even a sip.

Authentic leaders are genuine and believable.  They don’t try to impress or fake things.  They are trustworthy.  Trust is central to leadership.  People must be able to trust that their leaders are doing the right thing for them as well as for their customers.    

Leaders need to be consistent.  People should always know what is expected of them and how they will be treated.  Consistency develops routines and builds momentum. 

Managers and leaders must be consistent in their behavior and attitude.  This sets a good example and eases concerns.  Trust is built upon the foundation of consistency.

Leadership is so much more than just bossing people around.  Being in charge is hard enough without confusing the roles.  While almost everyone has a boss of some kind, the fortunate ones also have a good leader.  Harry Gordon Selfridge, developer of one of the largest department stores in London, achieved success by being a leader rather than a boss.  He said this of the two types of executives:

“The boss drives the people; the leader coaches them.

“The boss depends upon authority; the leader on goodwill.

“The boss says, ‘I;’ the leader, ‘We.’

“The boss fixes the blame for the breakdown; the leader fixes the breakdown.

“The boss knows how it is done; the leader shows how.

“The boss says, ‘Go;’ the leader, ‘Let’s go.’”

General Dwight Eisenhower used a simple device to illustrate the art of leadership.  Laying an ordinary piece of string on a table, he’d illustrate how you could easily pull it in any direction.

“However, try and push it,” he cautioned, “and it won’t go anywhere.  It’s just that way when it comes to leading people.”

Eisenhower, who went on to become U.S. President, understood that you can’t push people around.  You have to work with them and pull them along.

Mackay’s Moral:  Leadership is the only ship that doesn’t pull into a safe port in a storm.

Mastering The Magic Word

Mastering The Magic Word – by Bob Proctor

The Magic Word is a spoken word record by Earl Nightingale that sold over a million copies.

As Earl explained, experts call the magic word the most important word as far as the results we get in life are concerned.

And that word is attitude.

What I’ve learned about attitude has allowed me to sail through life, moving from one success to another. And when I fail at something or run into a roadblock, I harvest the good, learn from the experience, and keep moving forward.

Why It’s Called the Magic Word

Your attitude works like magic because it is a two-edged sword…

It either brings you the success you seek or, if misused, a life of disappointment.

You would think that anything that packs this much power would be a subject that is taught from a young age. And yet, it’s not. So, if you ask any ten people you meet what attitude means, you will probably get ten different answers.

So, what is attitude?

Attitude is the composite of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Ultimately, the thoughts you choose and the way you feel are displayed by your body through your actions and behavior.

Here’s a closer look at how it works:

Attitude is a creative cycle that begins in your conscious mind with your choice of thoughts. Whether you believe it or not, you do choose your thoughts, and that choice is where your attitude originates.

As you internalize (or become emotionally involved with) your thoughts, you create the second stage in forming an attitude: your entire being – mind and body – moves into a “vibration” that corresponds with your internalized thoughts.

We refer to your conscious awareness of this vibration as “feeling.” Your feelings are then expressed in actions or behaviors that produce the results in your life.

What Do You Bring?

Results follow attitude like night follows day.

What I mean by that is your attitude is the cause, and your results are the effect. The axiom is “positive attitudes produce positive results.” They make success more likely, failures less detrimental, pleasures more frequent, and pain more bearable.

People with a positive attitude tend to bring warm sunshine wherever they go. Those with a negative attitude bring cold chills.

Which do you bring?

To find out where you can improve, take an inventory of your predispositions, the attitude you’re most likely to start with:

• Are you generally optimistic or pessimistic?

• Do you tend to assume the best or expect the worst?

• Is your first instinct to be supportive or critical?

• Do you send the message that you are passionate about life or that you’re simply enduring it?

• Do you come across as the captain of your own ship or simply a passenger?

It’s Impersonal

The world plays no favorites; it’s impersonal. It doesn’t care who succeeds and who fails, nor does it care whether we change or not.

However, a person’s attitude is incalculably powerful in bringing about the marvelous results, success, and joy they desire. However, we must train it patiently, day by day.

Successful people come in all sizes, shapes, and colors and widely varying degrees of intelligence, background, and education. But they have two things in common—they expect to get more good out of life than bad and to succeed more often than they fail. And they experience both.

When you want something worthwhile, take the attitude that there are many more reasons you can have it than why you can’t. Set out to earn it—go after it—work for it—ask for it—and nine times out ten, you’ll get it.

What’s Going On Inside Shows On The Outside

Attitude is the reflection of a person.

Our environment, the world we’ve created around ourselves, is really a mirror of our attitude. If we don’t like our environment, we can change it by changing our attitudes.

Wherever you are on the attitude spectrum, think how much better things could be if you were more consistently and self-consciously optimistic, empathetic, supportive, grateful, enthusiastic, hopeful, and cheerful.

To your success, Bob Proctor

Arrogance And Self-awareness Seldom Go Together

Arrogance And Self-awareness Seldom Go Together – Robert Rohm ~ / ~

Over the years I have learned that there are some things that work well together. Peanut butter and jelly make a really good sandwich and so does a hamburger with lettuce and tomato. However, I do not think that putting lettuce and tomato on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich would taste very good. You see, there are some things that work well together and some things that do not.

It has been my experience that when I meet someone who is aware of the effect that their personality style and behavior has on others, they seem to also be a humble and insightful person. However, when I meet an arrogant person who is “full of themselves”, I have observed that they lack the skill to accurately assess their own behavior and abilities. Arrogance just does not allow a person the ability to be very insightful regarding his or her own behavior. It is like the old Chinese proverb states, “The one who would be wise must first be humble.”

Everyone you meet knows at least one thing that you do not know. Therefore, everyone can instantly become your teacher. Even though you may be the most skilled person in a particular area, I can assure you that there are many areas about life in which you know very little. It is true of all of us!

Zig Ziglar once got his car stuck in the mud in Texas and had to call a tow truck to come pull it out. When the driver arrived, Zig noticed that he was just a teenager. He thought to himself, “I don’t know if this kid possesses the necessary skill to pull my car out of this mud or not.” The young man asked Zig for his car keys. Zig assured the young boy that he had already tried to drive the vehicle out of the mud and using that effort would not work! The young boy jumped in the front seat, turned the car on and “rocked” it back and forth a couple of times. Then he drove it right out of the mud! He had done it with such ease that the young man was embarrassed for Zig that he had called him. In fact, the teenager began to make excuses for Zig by saying, “Sir, sometimes I just get lucky. I won’t even charge you for this.”

Zig said it was amazing to him to think that he is an expert in the area of leadership training and motivational speaking, known around the world, yet he knows very little about getting a car out of a mud hole. That teenage boy knew very little about leadership or motivational speaking, but he knew everything about humility, kindness – and getting cars out of the “muck” in Texas! Zig insisted that he pay the young man even though he had offered the work at no charge.

I believe it is a fact of life that when a person demonstrates a spirit of humility and is not arrogant, they instantly become open to new ideas and insights. They begin to see things they would have otherwise missed. On the other hand, when a person has a “know-it-all” attitude, the possibilities for new insights and wisdom immediately evaporate. You cannot expect to have good insight and self-awareness if you are an arrogant person. The two just do not make a very good “sandwich” together.

I have been incredibly blessed in my lifetime. I have had the opportunity to graduate from five different colleges and universities. I have been around the world many times. I have spoken and done training on 6 different continents. And, I have a World Series ring! Yet rather than being arrogant about how much I know, I am truly humbled by how much there is to know and how little of that vast body of knowledge I actually possess. It is like a quote I once heard, “He who is all wrapped up in himself has a mighty small package!” I am a life-long learner. That is a much better position to take regarding life than being a “know-it-all.”

Seek to raise your awareness of your own behaviors and the abilities of others around you this week. Be open to learn new things from everyone you meet. Remember, everyone knows at least one thing you do not know, therefore everyone can become your teacher if you allow them to do so. It will be an encouragement to them and a blessing to you. That is what I call a win-win situation!

Tip: Arrogance and self-awareness seldom go together.

Have a great week! God bless you! Dr. Robert A. Rohm

Pessimists, Optimists, and Leaders

Pessimists, Optimists, and Leaders   By Tim Elmore ~ / ~ If something has surfaced after two years of a pandemic, it’s the polarization of people into camps. I don’t mean political or ideological camps regarding masks, vaccines, and conspiracies. I mean camps that represent mindsets: pessimists, optimists, and leaders. Most of us love being around optimists, but they tend to oversimplify what it will take to succeed. Most don’t enjoy pessimists, but they claim to live closer to reality. I believe as we launch a new year, we don’t need more pessimists or optimists who believe the glass is half empty or half full. We need leaders who are busy filling the glass. Let me offer some examples.   ATTITUDES Pessimists think the cup is half empty. Optimists think the cup is half full. Leaders are already brewing another cup. OBSTACLES Pessimists complain about the wind. Optimists assume the wind will change. Leaders adjust the sails.   RESILIENCE Pessimists assume we will never get out of a mess. Optimists make empty promises that we’ll be out of that mess by the holidays. Leaders embrace both the brutal facts and the hope that we will one day prevail.   MOTIVATION Pessimists make harsh demands on others, assuming the worst about people. Optimists hold a high belief in people, assuming it’s sufficient to bring out their best. Leaders relay both high expectations and beliefs, which actually improve performance.    COMMUNICATION Pessimists only offer the truth to people even when it’s depressing. Optimists offer only grace to people and think it will correct all wrongs. Leaders offer both truth and grace, making people both responsive and demanding.   INNOVATION Optimists invent marvelous contributions like the airplane. Pessimists invent marvelous contributions like the parachute. Leaders offer training to pilots and passengers to use both.   PERSPECTIVE Pessimists see all the disadvantages of a new situation. Optimists see all the advantages of a new situation. Leaders turn disadvantages into advantages.   The Key to Our Success: Adaptability None of us have seen a period of time this devastating to our nation. There have been worse years in U.S. history and definitely worse years in world history, but no one alive today has seen anything like what we saw during 2020 and 2021. You’d need to be over 100 to remember the devastation of World War 1 and the Spanish Flu. You’d have to be about 90 to remember the Great Depression and World War 2. Allow me to suggest three metaphors—training wheels, snow globes, and telescopes—to help us navigate this new year on the heels of an evolving pandemic and a fragile economy. The key, of course, will be adaptability.   Training Wheels Most of us have no “training wheels” for the times we are living in. Perhaps we can build new training wheels now that we might offer to the young for use in the future. How can we utilize 2021 to prepare the emerging generation (like a set of training wheels for their journey)? Training wheels help people stay balanced and move forward. What have we learned that will equip us all for the future?   Snow Globes For much of the last two years, we’ve felt we were incarcerated and isolated in our little world, helpless to get out and do what we normally do. Snow Globes are those small, plastic bubbles that have a village inside of them, but it’s contained. How can we equip younger generations to break out of their snow globes, and get them ready for the outside world that needs them?   Telescopes Telescopes enable astronomers to see realities in the distance, which average folks can’t see. Truth be told, every outbreak, epidemic, and pandemic I’ve researched included stories from the history of how civilizations emerged from dark times better for them—with perspective, inventions, discoveries, and vaccines that we would not have possessed without those dark times.   The Renaissance emerged following the Black Death in Europe, which decimated much of the world, killing millions in its path. But life afterward was brighter than ever. Paintings of Christ on the cross became paintings of Christ stepping out of the empty tomb. Michelangelo, Da Vinci, and Rembrandt created art in the shadow of the Black Death, determined to turn the tide of culture with their talent. It required people to have long-term perspective and hope.   We must do the same today.   Can we turn our boredom, angst, loneliness, and annoyance into something redemptive? Can we sing the national anthem and believe that our flag is still there? Can we sing a worship song and believe our God is still there? I’m not asking you to assume the cup is half empty or half full. I am asking you to start filling the cup.

Don’t Burn A Bridge And Then Look For A Lifeboat – Harvey Mackay ~ / ~

Once upon a time, two brothers who lived on farms separated by a creek fell into conflict. It began with a small misunderstanding and grew into a major difference and finally exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on the older brother’s door. The visitor was a man with a carpenter’s toolbox. “I’m looking for a few days’ work,” he said. “Perhaps you have a couple small jobs I could help with?”

“Yes,” said the brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. It belongs to my younger brother. I want you to build me an eight-foot fence so I won’t need to see his place anymore.”

The carpenter nodded. “I think I understand the situation.”

The older brother helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then went off to town. When he returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. But there was no fence. It was a bridge – a bridge that stretched from one side of the creek to the other. And his younger brother was walking over, his hand outstretched.

“You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.”

The two brothers met in the middle, taking each other’s hand. Then the older brother turned to see the carpenter hoisting his toolbox onto his shoulder.

“No, wait!” the older brother called. “Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you.”

The carpenter smiled. “No thanks. I have many more bridges to build.”

People who make a habit of burning bridges often wake up one morning wondering, “Where did everyone go?” Fortunately this older brother now knew how to regain what he was looking for, even if he didn’t realize it at the time.

The definition of burning bridges is “the act of unpleasantly and permanently ending relations with another person or an organization. To act harshly/disgracefully upon leaving a situation to ensure that you will not be welcomed back.”

How many people have left positions at companies and said some negative things about their previous employer, only to have them come back to haunt them? It’s a small world out there. Chances are that you will encounter people you used to work for or with, so leaving on good terms can prevent ugly situations in the future.

You also run the risk of tarnishing your reputation. As I’ve said on many occasions, my father Jack always used to tell me, “You spend your whole lifetime building a good name and reputation, and one foolish act can destroy it.”

I have taken his words to heart, because there are few things more important than a good reputation. If you don’t have a positive reputation, it will be difficult to be successful, because your reputation not only follows you, it also precedes you.

The world is full of people who were at the top of their game when they made a fatal mistake – due to poor judgment, arrogance or the inability to do the right thing. Reputations are destroyed, and all the money in the world can’t buy them back.

Repairing a reputation is considerably more difficult than keeping a good one.

The ability to forgive the other party also goes a long way toward maintaining bridges. Forgiveness is the key to healing all relationships. The experience of forgiving someone ultimately makes you stronger.

Perhaps the offending party doesn’t even realize the hurt they have caused, or even if they do, feel it was justified. But holding grudges is a lot of work. Getting beyond grievances is a sign of maturity and a great example for others.

The daughter of a friend gave me some advice a few months ago on how to handle forgiveness. She suggested making a list of the grudges, anger and pain that weigh you down. Commit to releasing it once and for all. Take three deep breaths and ask for peace. Then burn the list. And smile. You’ve just lightened your load.

As F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “For every minute you remain angry, you give up 60 seconds of peace of mind.”

Bottom line, take the high road. Act like an adult. Keep your bitterness to yourself. Be gracious. The person you took for granted today may turn out to be the person you need tomorrow. So think twice before you burn any bridges.

Mackay’s Moral: A person who burns bridges better be a damn good swimmer.